Sunday, June 8, 2014


Hey Maniacs! 
I just came back from an AMAZING experience in every way possible. I spent 5 days in the Negev desert in the Midburn festival - the Israeli Burning Man. I don’t quite know how to even start expressing what I've been through, but I just can't sleep and can't get the playa out of my head.

At the first day I was so anxious to get there, I was driving and picking up some people who were supposed to come, and I had to carry so much shit with me, cause I'm doing the raw till 4 diet now [more on that on a different post]. I brought 5 kilos of dates, 4 watermelons, ton of bananas, veggies and stuff to cook for my cooked dinner. I brought other fruits bet they went bad so fast and filled my car with such a stench!
So anyway, I came to the playa by myself. No friends, no camp, no nothing. Radical self reliance in its best. At first it was because non of my friends wanted to come, but in the end I wanted to go alone and put myself out there, outside my comfort zone, even though in some ways being alone is exactly my comfort spot.

Iv'e been to other festivals in which I brought food to cook and bread and peanut butter and all those festival foods, and I have to say that preparing the fruit and eating it was so much easier and funner than eating a peanut butter sandwich with canned corn and half raw pasta. Moreover, it was so satisfying and filling, gave me a TON of energy to dance and walk around, and saved me so much time. When everyone else were cooking in their camps, I would eat half a watermelon and go dance right after without being too heavy to need to friggin rest. Besides, fruits have so much water content, I didn't get dehydrated once! In comparison to a cooked lunch you eat in the heat, that takes water from your body to digest and doesn't add its own water. So no wander people need rest after such a meal, and a lot more water.

I picked up a few hitchhikers from jerusalem, one of them is Shawn Saleme, who writes also for the Visual News blog! Such a chilled and down to earth person, very happy I met him. I put up my tent with the hitchhikers at our own camp, and went out to explorer.

Me, Shawn, and the hitchhikers. the car was packed!!!

The playa was unbelievable. The art installations were incredible. The man, which was a man and woman installation combined, was very impressive, but my favorite was grampa. So beautiful and well build, just look at the pictures. The person who made the installation was as expected – very nice and friendly. I couldn’t find more about him online though. He was excited to burn it, but in the end granny stayed foot, probably had a change of heart. Anyway his name is Faluja. If you find anything bout him let me know!

Me and Faluja wth grandpa in the back

On Friday the atmosphere in the playa was very special to me. To sun was going down, and the desert lit up with such beautiful colors... it really felt like the end of the festival. Me and some new friend were sitting and looking at the sunset and I came down in tears. I felt like something inside of me died. A feeling that was immensely increased when the man was burned. As the sun went right behind those desert mountains and the darkness started creeping, I made up my mind to create a life for myself that I wouldn’t be sad to come back to after a festival.

The sunset on friday

Now that's a very controversial thing for me to say, because I'm so used to just surviving, that being happy sometimes sounds like bad word to me. I always had some disrespect towards those who are happy, or at least claim to be. They look so naive, or simple minded, even stupid to me. They live in denial, believe in god, release all responsibilities from them, and mainly, haven’t had a life even close to what shit I've been through. I'm so used to life being this shit load of crap just piling on top of other crap layers that hadn’t composted yet. Shit on top of shit on top of shit. But life on the playa felt so damn good. Chillin at day, or dancing, eating fuck loads of fresh fruit, talking to people, dress up in funny costumes, enjoying nature and the desert, I mean, life definitely looked like this once. No money, gifting, community life, fuck I wanna go back.

After they burned the temple, I was a friggin mess. It was sunrise, complete silence on the playa, such a huge difference between burning the man and the temple. I wasn't as sad as I was when burning the man but it wore me down and eventually I found myself walking around camps, just wishing I could meet anyone to keep me company. I felt such an urge and it was terrifying, to think that I NEED someone, and not just rely on myself, but I guess that’s the difference between surviving and living, eh?

I went to some camp and this wonderful guy immediately gave me such a warm hug. I asked if I could crash on the couch, cause I couldn’t just start a conversation. I was crashing on the couch, and this other guy from the camp brought another couch so I would have room for my feet. I know it wasn't something special for him, but I was so fucking grateful for him and for what he did, I started crying non stop for hours.

The temple and the man

Why? Why would anyone help me? Moreover, why don't they hurt me? I'm so accustomed to people who talk shit to me, take advantage of me, use me and hurt me, and this guy helps me out with such a small and unnoticeable gesture? I was dumbfounded.
I wanted to come up to him and hug him and thank him and I don’t know what, but I wasn't able to. I just couldn’t. [so for the super slim chance your'e reading this - I FUCKING LOVE YOU MAN!]

I'm still digesting and trying to comprehend this whole thing, and the burning man experience in general, but no doubt, this burn was a thing ill never forget. After crying my eyes out, I went to the granny installation for a bit, just to have some time with this awesome peice of art. as I was appreciating that glorious installation thing, I got this incredible urge to built and create things, to make something of my own, to just do. I just hope I won't lose this energy to the mundane life I'm living right now..


Well, to sum it up, I met and befriended so many awesome people! I still have my social skills apparently :) I danced so much, so long, so happily, dressed or fucking topless, with shoes or barefoot on the boiling desert sand. I even got blisters from the hot sand, and I got a bad sunburn. I'm so happy. And sad. Fuck. Look at the pictures already, would ya?!

The playa

DUST, see it, breat it, eat it, drink it, dust every-fucking-where

The whale being constructed
all finished :)
Friday sunset and the man
the man at night
Burning the temple
And we're gonna let it burn

Awesome people!

Craig and me

The man turning to a pile of ash

You got BURNED


The temple

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

I'm Back!

Hey Maniacs :)

I know I've been gone a long while...but I have my reasons!
I'm hoping to get back on track and post more here and definitely make more videos on my YT channel.

Basically, I wasn't feeling the need to share here anymore. Besides, this whole blog started as a mean to promote my YT channel, which is what I want to be my ultimate income source from advertisements. I have shared really intimate things about myself only a few times, and even though it was very empowering, I was worried that people I know would get more info about me, and we all know knowledge is power. I just didn't want to be vulnerable. 

But at this period in my life I feel much more safe to walk about in this world and I'm not afraid to share my true feelings, at least here on my blog. I even feel the need to, especially now, that I have deleted my Facebook account. on my account deletion, i plan to make a whole video talking about it, so wait for it :) 

So In about two months, I'll be finishing my BA degree! well, at least I won't have to go to classes anymore, I'll then have to take exam and write papers for a long while :(
I can't believe it's gonna be all over soon! I mean, who knows where I'll be next year?
But then again, it's a wonderful opportunity to make changes and do different things! it's not a secret I was suffering every minute of these studies, and I have no intention whatsoever to work in something related to my field [east Asian studies]. I could look at it as a waste of time, but I choose to see it as something that I completed from start to end, overcoming a challenge, and a mean to enrich myself. 
In the end, without my resolution to go to the university a few years ago, I don't know how I would have gotten out of the crisis I was in at the time. I made some great friends and learned a lot about myself.

Anyhow, I have a deadline to all the papers, as i'm going to trek the Israel Trail in September :)
Surprised? Me too. It all started on the day I deleted my facebook and broke up with my ex boyfriend. 
I was walking on the way to class, and saw a discounted book fare on the way. You know those books who just *call out* to you? this one was Wild by Cheryl Strayed. It's a story about a woman who decided to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, after getting a divorce and having her life all messed up. 

The funny thing is, two days before I got the book, I was walking on a trail [not something I EVER do!] quite close to my parents house, that the Israel Trail was going next to. I didn't pay much attention to it, but I noticed it has a different color. 9 years before that, I heard about the trail for the first time when I was in sorting for the army [I didn't enlist in the end]. a vegan friend there told me she knows someone who's doing it, and I remember thinking "that's crazy! and awesome! but absolutely not for me". but for those of you who know about my Freud crush, know that I truly believe our subconscious is dynamic, and things that go dwell there, don't just sit idle, and they influence us in different ways. So while reading the book, I was like "omg. I'm going to a journey on the Israel national trail".

But the trail is only two months, three tops! what will I do later? I don't wanna go back to my ordinary boring life...heck, I don't even wanna live such a life! A life where you get up in the morning, go to a job you don't like so you could buy things you don't need. Fuck it! I've been in a minimalism journey for almost a year now! I don't need to work to but things cause I don't need things! I don't want to have a limitless amount of useless objects that ground me to a certain place and deny me my movement freedom! I mean after all, experiences are worth more than objects right?
So I don't know how, this got me thinking I need to go travel the world.

That's settled. I'll be off to Thailand in November :)

I'll be posting more in my blog so be sure to check it out! I even sorted out my RSS feed, so you can sub and get notified whenever I have something new up.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Snowy Timez!

Yes! Winter is finally here in Israel, and with it - SNOW!
This year I went a little overboard with excitement... here are the results.

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